Joe Dirt

In middle and high school my mother and I were often at odds about my hair. I wanted what I call the “Zack and Cody cut”, with my hair touching (and at one point even passing) my collar. She wanted me to sport a more conservative hairstyle. One day, I thought I found my solution so that we might both get what we wanted. 

Boy was I wrong.

What looked good to me at the barbershop turned out to be a mullet. Not to bag on mullets, but it’s not a hairstyle that any self-respecting young man in my area of Southern California wears. To make matters worse, it was picture day, so the whole year my ID card was a testament to my mistake.

But something lasted longer than that ID card. Sure, the kids made fun of me, but I didn’t let it get to me. What I do remember, though, is a short-lived nickname they gave me. “Dude, you’re Joe Dirt.” “What?” “Have you ever seen Joe Dirt?” “No.” “Well you’re Joe Dirt!” I promptly got another haircut the next day, but it took me longer than that to look into who this Dirt fellow was.

The time has arrived my friends. The other night my roommate was very excited to watch Joe Dirt for some reason. Now, at last, I would see this movie that the kids found funny in middle school.

The thing about kids is that they don’t really have much taste.

Joe Dirt is about a boy who was abandoned at the Grand Canyon when he was 8 and then grew up to be a janitor at a radio station. One day, by happenstance he becomes an accidental guest on one of the shows produced at the radio station. He then tells his life story over the radio in the vein of Forrest Gump.

Joe Dirt is similar to other comedies that focus on an awkward outsider down on their luck, though lacks a deep main character. Where Nacho Libre is conflicted between vows and dreams, Joe Dirt’s defining character trait is literally his mullet. That’s it. That’s the joke.

We follow Joe from one misadventure to the other, with only some being funny. Even the few jokes that work are not memorable. After all is said and done, the movie simply wraps up with a tired lesson about how “your friends were your family this whole time”.

The one thing I will give this movie credit for is its use of one of my faves: Christopher Walken. AND that during his little screen time they had him dancing (one of Walken’s fortes).

All in all, Joe Dirt is a movie I did not like, but not that I especially hated. I give it one thumb down. 

- Jonathan